I Go Back To


I go back to the fourth of November, 1992


I see a glimpse of light as I fight for a way out

I had been living so long in darkness


I am released and I enter a white room.  


My eyes are barely open

And a single thought swirls in my mind

Who am I?


A stream

of questions flow freely beneath my skull

And I want to escape this shallow water

But the tall dams prevent me

I look up and wonder

Who is he?

This blue man. Not much expression in his face

All he shows are his eyes,

and beads of sweat beneath them glisten

and disappear into the unknown

the unseen.


I am awake now and my eyes are open wide.

But who were these people around me?

I saw faces not familiar to me

Expressions not seen in my ivory mirror

But oddly, as I look

I see her hair in the mirror

And his nose.


But then she looks at me

With familiar blue eyes

And I want to ask her why she won’t hold me

the next day.

Or the day after that.

Or ever again.


And now I go to my mother and father

The ones I know well

I see the endless pool of love

in her brown eyes

And the never ending pride that escapes

His crooked, different smile.


They sit at a dinner table

As if this day was not significant

But they wouldn’t know the significance

Not yet.


And the blue eyed woman would let go

And the two at the table would be three at the table






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